


You'll Feel Better When You Wake Up

by Weaselandcherry



Series: I Like Me Better [4]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Conflict, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Internal Conflict, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22994962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weaselandcherry/pseuds/Weaselandcherry
Summary: MC bit her lip and clenched her fists."I waited for you, for two years!"
Relationships: V & Main Character (Mystic Messenger), V | Kim Jihyun & Main Character, V | Kim Jihyun/Main Character, V | Kim Jihyun/Original Female Character(s)
Series: I Like Me Better [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544650
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	You'll Feel Better When You Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> Now I can finally post this with a good conscious since I finally updated CFTC, lol.  
> Yoosung looks so cute in the new home screen ^^  
> Sorry in advance, heh. Hope you enjoy though!

When she told V that she wanted him after he had just confessed that he never wanted to be sexually intimate, she had meant it. Things went as she thought they'd go and then some. At first, it was difficult to accept.

She was right, it was one thing to wait for something and another to learn it would never happen. MC tried to work through her feelings as best she could. Some days were harder than others. Sometimes Jihyun's sweet smile could calm her heart and reassure her that things would get better and work themselves out, but then she'd see a couple outside with a baby or watch a movie with alluded sex scenes and she'd feel bad then she'd feel crummy for feeling selfish like that.

She promised Jihyun she'd keep him updated and she did in a way. At times, he might notice her looking nowhere in a daze and question her on it. She'd respond that she was simply thinking about her feelings and would leave it at that.

Things never felt too bad, bad enough to where she felt like she had to actually address the issue aloud once again anyway. She was happy with Jihyun ninety percent of the time, and what couples didn't have their tribulations?

If she did feel overwhelmed but didn't want to burden Jihyun, MC would simply talk to Zen. She had told him a brief summary of what the conclusion was of their chat months ago, swearing him to secrecy because that information wasn't hers to share. It was Jihyun's.

But she needed someone other than Jihyun to talk to about her troubles and Zen always had a kind ear. The actor was always attentive and had insights to Jihyun's side that she sometimes didn't think she'd conjure up herself.

Ten minutes with Zen had her mind clear and shoulders slouched. Then thoughts of how much she loved Jihyun and why would float to the top of her head.

She loved that man so much which was why she was horrified when what she did finally sunk in.

The possible ramifications of her actions made her cry harder than she had in awhile. She didn't stop until hours later, and by then, she felt like she had cried out all the fluids in her body.

Her mind felt numb along with the rest of her body as she stepped into her kitchen to get water. Her hand stopped short when going to grab a cup from the cabinet.

She didn't even deserve water.

Thinking about how much of an idiot she was, MC almost missed the way her phone vibrated in her hoodie pocket. She really didn't want to be bothered but fretted it was an emergency, so she swiped her phone open and checked the RFA app.

Seeing V's messages highlighted caused her heart to hammer and fingers shake. She clicked on the unread text though.

It was just a normal text about his music piece. Her finger typed back a normal response, one that feigned casualness and ignored her transgression. She erased it.

**MC: Can you come over?**

**V: Yes.**

**V: Should I bring your raincoat? It's supposed to storm later this week.**

**MC: Yeah, thanks.**

**MC: I love you.**

It was a moment before her last texts got a response and despite her horrid mood and megaton like guilt that settled at the bottom of her stomach, the corners of her lips lifted a little at his response.

**V: 143 ^^**

It was a good twenty minutes from his apartment to her own. MC didn't know what to do to fill the space because pacing around her small living room and sitting on her couch made each minute feel like five.

Gosh, she didn't even know what she was going to say. She should've practiced this. She shouldn't have been so impulsive, but she knew the guilt would weigh on her so heavy that she couldn't have pretended nothing happened the next time she saw Jihyun. She rather the next time she saw him be in her apartment than in a public setting.

MC settled on making coffee painfully slow even though she wasn't planning on drinking it. She wanted to sleep this and the next lifetime away after this.

There was a knock at her front door before V used his key to let himself in. There was a cheerful greeting for her as he unzipped his boots and slipped his feet into his slippers.

She couldn't bare facing him. MC was surprised the feeling was so strong she couldn't even greet him back properly. She never thought she'd feel so averse to looking at his face, something she normally couldn't get enough of.

Her hands had luckily already poured coffee into a cup, and she was now dumping all kinds of sugar and creamer into it to avoid looking at the photographer.

She felt a presence slide up next to her. "Coffee? It's late." Her eyes flicked to the timer on her stove. "Studying?"

She shook her head and moved the hair in front of her eyes behind her ear. "Are you tired?" His finger ghosted just below her one of two swollen eyes. She clenched her jaw as she averted away from his touch.

There was a pause before he moved a half step away and spoke up again. "I put your jacket on th-"

"I need to tell you something," MC cut in, her hands now settled flat on the surface of her counter.

"Of course." He motioned to the living room. "Would you like to sit?"

"No." His arm moved back to his side. MC licked her lips. "If I don't say it now…"

V didn't say anything more, and she could feel his stare. She didn't have to look at him to know how concerned he was. He didn't even know…

"I…" Her eyes watered, and she could feel the back of her throat ache. "I-gosh I- _I'm sorry_." She couldn't help the waver in her voice and now V knew something was up.

"MC, what happened?" Her hand balled into fists at his gentle questioning.

" _I_." Her lip wobbled as she strained a whisper from her throat, "I slept with someone."

It was quiet and MC expected a truck load of yelling and name calling from Jihyun even though she knew he would never treat her or anyone like that, no matter how they treated him. It was one of the qualities she admired, but right now, she hated it because she deserved the names and yelling, yet he was silent. She couldn't say she was surprised, but she did think he didn't hear her properly because he was quiet for a while.

She swallowed and opened her mouth to repeat herself. "I sl-"

"I heard you." Her stomach dropped at emotion in his voice. He sounded confused, surprised, and most of all hurt. It wasn't so long ago when she promised to never hurt him so deeply again and yet she did not even two months after.

"Why did you… do that?" She went to respond but he continued. "You told me you would tell me when things got difficult."

"It wasn't that hard…" His face morphed into one of pain. "I mean, I didn't want to make you feel bad. I didn't think it would be- I didn't think I…" she trailed off unsure if her words just sounded like excuses to him.

"How long have you felt like this…?"

"I don't know- I never thought it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I don't know why I did it- it just did."

"When?"

She hesitated. "Yesterday." She waited as he slowly put together the picture.

"Someone from university…" She bit her lip and replied back negatively and felt the air tense up around them.

He stared at her with a mix of disbelief and dread. His whisper sounded as hollow as the vacant look in his eyes. "MC…"

"I know," she quietly admitted.

"Hyun?" Hearing his name made her flinch, and that was all the affirmation Jihyun needed before he wiped off any emotion he had from his face.

"Wait. Please don't do that. Don't close me out," she begged, turning her body to face him. Jihyun tilted his face away and ran a hand half through his hair, the palm of his hand resting against his forehead, so MC couldn't read him even if she wanted to.

"What am I supposed to do now, MC?"

"Tell me…" she took a breath, "Tell me how to earn your forgiveness." His lips turned up, wry, and let out a breathless and sad chuckle.

"I already do."

She should be happy or at least relieved, but she felt deplorable for how easy Jihyun seemed to pardon her.

"I knew this was too much of a burden to force upon you. I should have thought more about you."

MC was angry. "No," she firmly declared. "It's not a burden and you didn't force me to do anything."

"If that's true." His hand left his face so she could see a phantom of agony cloud his face. "Then _why_?"

"I," she swallowed, "I don't know," MC insisted.

"You said I could always be honest with you, MC. I wish that you wouldn't have made me regret," Jihyun trailed off. "I never told anyone…"

She gripped the handle of her coffee mug tightly. "You regret telling me?"

"That's… not what I meant-"

"You didn't even tell me." MC pressed her lips together. "I had to practically force it from you."

"It was difficult…"

"That's just an excuse," she snapped back. Jihyun looked at her with a calm, steady gaze.

"You said you understood."

"Sure." MC placed her cup on the counter with some noise. "Sure, I understood. It didn't mean that I liked it. It didn't mean that I didn't feel lied to."

"Do you feel tricked, MC?"

"Yes!" she admitted and all of a sudden breathless. "For almost a year you lied by omission on something so important! I held onto hope only for it to disappear that night. That- sex means something to me, and the fact that I don't have a choice in the matter- it's just not fair! It's hard."

"You always have a choice. I'm sorry, it seemed that I was giving you an ultimatum."

"But of course I have to accept it because I love you." The tears were back to stinging her eyes. "So, I have to suck it up and accept it."

"You don't have to." MC barely heard him despite his close proximity.

She was astonished by his words. "What?"

"It seems I asked too much of you. I wish you wouldn't feel as if you are being punished for loving me."

"What are you saying?" His silence made her angry. "You want me to leave?" she asked, enraged. "I screw up majorly one time and we're done? How is that fair, Jihyun? After everything-!" She bit her lip and clenched her fists. "I waited for you, for _two_ _years_!" she cried. "Just for you! How can you throw me away so easily?"

"I didn't."

"You did when you left," she defended. It was a low blow, but she didn't care. It was true.

Surprisingly, there was little to no reaction from that statement. Jihyun merely looked at her.

He turned away to walk to the front door. MC took a step in his direction, wanting to stop him but the hurt and anger won out.

"You're leaving? That's all you ever do," she glowered. "You cower, run away and leave people to pick up the pieces you're too scared to touch. You're scared? Well, I am too!"

She watched his feet slip out of this house shoes and insert them into his boots.

MC continued, "Maybe you're right though, maybe you were asking a lot of me because after so long, it felt so good. I don't know if I could go a whole lifetime like this." Jihyun paused in zipping his last boot up and stood, forgoing the task completely and took the last few steps to the door to unlock it.

MC was upset and hurt and overrun with emotions, but when she saw Jihyun look back over his shoulder with tears and the pinch between his brow that he normally made when trying not to cry, MC felt the cold reality of her words sink into her heart. It invaded her whole body, cooling down the fire within her until they simmered into ashes.

She blinked and her front door shut with the softest of clicks leaving her to stew in numbness and self-loathing.

Abruptly, she sobbed loudly and sharply. She could make out the faint outline of her door and his slippers neatly lined up, slippers that would eventually miss their owner. Her breathing stuttered, and MC rushed to the front door calling out his name, desperate and frantic.

Her hand blindly reached for the door knob and got it on the third try so she could swing the door open and chase after him.

Her vision cleared at seeing the figure in front of her.

A smile spread across her face.

"Zen!"

The actor reached forward and placed a lily behind her ear. Face hovering close to hers she felt his breath as he spoke. "Babe," he singsonged. "You glitter brighter than stars in a clear sky." She blushed and a kiss was placed on her cheek.

"You're the star here," she mumbled. Zen pulled back and grinned.

"I am," he boasted. "But tonight," he took her hand and placed a kiss on it, "You are." She laughed and closed the door behind her.

"So," she took up his arm as the walked down the hall, "Where are we going?"

"Aa, a surprise."

"Come on," she whined and pouted up at him. "Not even a hint?"

"No can do. I want to see your true reaction when you get there." They paused in front of the elevators. MC pressed the button for down and glanced up at the floor numbers slowly lighting up to her floor.

"You don't have to _tell_ me." She turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck, locking her fingers together. "Just a small," her thumb grazed over the bump of his neck causing him to shiver, "Little hint?" she whispered in his close proximity.

Red eyes flicked down to her lips and she refrained from smiling. His voice was low, "I shouldn't." MC stopped her lips a small space away from his.

"Fine." She pulled away and fixed the purse on her shoulder. "No hint, no kiss." Zen whined and she smiled at his childishness and took his hand in hers.

"Ah, it's okay, Zen," he breathed and soothed himself. A giggle erupted from her mouth and the elevator finally dinged its arrival. The doors split open.

Browns widened. "How did you know I wanted to come here?" She grinned up at Zen excitedly. His face was sheepish but he still smiled.

"I overheard you talking with one of your friends."

"Sooyoung is going to be so jealous." She lead them to a booth and took the side facing the entrance of the restaurant. "Nothing like good authentic Greek."

"When did this place open?" Zen looked up from the menu. She hummed, chin in hand.

"A couple of weeks ago. Sooyoung said-"

"Huh?" He looked at her again wondering why she paused. "What's wrong?" That seemed to snap her out of her daze.

MC swallowed. "Don't look now but…" She observed the pair as they walked to one of the open tables in the center of the restaurant. Well, one was brooding and trailing behind as the other giddily advanced. "Jumin and Yoosung just walked in." Zen blinked at that.

"Wait," he went to look but MC squeaked at him not to, "Yoosung and cat mom? Is he being held against his will or something?" MC swatted at the air in front of them as she continued to watch.

"They're sitting and talking…" Yoosung's bubbly aura suddenly dimmed after Jumin said something. The blond's face sobered and lowly started speaking to Jumin. "Do you think… there's something up with Jumin?" She looked back at the albino.

He seemed to be thinking before he spoke. "Yoosung didn't mention anything."

"The last time I talked with Yoosung, he did comment about how Jumin was still the same."

"Maybe he's in a slump?" Zen shrugged and dared a peek over his shoulder.

"Jumin may always look okay but…"

"I know," Zen sighed into his seat. "He just needs time to process things. Ever since Jihyun moved to London he's been acting unlike himself. I kinda feel bad for him."

"Should I-" she stopped herself from finishing. Brows pinched in concern. "Call him?"

"Someone as cold as Jumin I doubt would pick up." A heavy sigh escaped her.

"You're right."

"Hey." Her mood was pulled away by the pale hand that laid tenderly on top of hers. "We're here, let's enjoy it." He smiled. She nodded and reciprocated one back.

"I was thinking maybe moussaka!" Her focus went back to the menu."What about you?"

"Grilled fish but that sounds good too… MC, wanna share?"

"No way!" She closed her eyes and laughed.

"Oh, look! They have those squash balls. I wonder if…"

MC pried her eyes open then resolutely squeezed them shut feeling tears already leak from the corners of her eyes.

That wasn't true. She repeated it but it wasn't enough then she felt the need to get proof.

Desperately, she pushed the comforter away from her face and reached out to the body not even two feet away. But she couldn't see.

She twisted her body to the side to find her phone under her pillow and hurriedly clicked on the flashlight and shined it to the opposite side of the bed.

A breath of relief flooded out of her. The ache in her throat didn't go away though. Her mouth was tugged into a hard frown as she refrained from crying. The grip on her phone slackened, but she made sure the light still illuminated Jihyun's face, wanting to know it was all a dream.

His brows lightly pushed together then his eyes crinkled before squinting at her crumpled pillow.

Blues glanced up at her phone and winced before flicking them back to the pillow. "MC?" He hoarsely whispered and raised a hand to block the white light.

"Is everything okay?" The sound of his voice weakened her resolve, and she found herself crying. At her whimpering, Jihyun sat up and blinked awake. "MC, what happened?" He reached out for her phone. She didn't have the strength to hold it anymore.

He strategically placed his forefinger over the center of the light allowing it to fan out, which was just enough for him to see her face in all its teary glory.

He frowned. "MC…" The back of his hand brushed her cheek, gently wiping the salt water away. "What's happened?" He lowered her phone, leaving them in the dark.

Her response was to bury her face in his sleep shirt. His arms wrapped around her.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

She shook her head.

"A nightmare." He hummed.

"Would you care to talk about it?" They stayed in silence for a minute. Only the ticking of the clock in his room made noise.

She whispered, "You left," then left it at that.

"I left?" he quietly echoed.

"I cheated on you." Her grip tightened on his shirt. She was sure there were permanent wrinkles in his shirt.

"Oh." He blinked in surprise.

" _Oh_?" Her head whipped up. "That's all you have to say is 'oh'?" Tears clouded her vision again.

"Um," he flustered, "MC," he started slowly, "I know you wouldn't do that."

"But," she sniffed, "Dream me sounded so mean."

"Well, good thing you really aren't."

"I'm serious, Jihyun!" She pouted and pushed his chest with her fist. "I don't…" A teary eyed Jihyun flashed in her mind. "Ever want to see you like that."

"Are you fearful of something?"

Her dream felt real and what was scary was that it all seemed plausible to a certain extent. The idea of no sex with Jihyun ever was still loading in her brain, but she'd never imagine she wouldn't find a way over the hurdle. It was merely a challenge she had to accept, like how she accepted his smoking and his weird habit of buying different scented hand soaps every week. Both were a total waste of money, but MC took them as a part of him, so even though it occasionally irked her to hug him and find he smelled of tobacco or to find the soap of the week smelt like glue sticks, she wouldn't change him because she loved him.

"You agreed to tell me if things got difficult, hm?" She quietly answered back. "Then let's trust in both of us." He smiled kindly at her, eyes obviously still plagued with sleep. MC felt her anxiety wither away then all of a sudden felt very silly for letting a dream work her up.

It was only a dream.

She sunk her weight into him, effectively pushing him back down into a lying position. They settled next to each other, facing one another, keeping their gazes locked in the dark.

MC brought her fists up to her chin, grasping the sheet.

"Thank you." Jihyun faintly nodded, his eyes dropping every second she stared at him. "Jihyun."

He hummed.

"Don't ever go to London." He let out a low, breathy chuckle.

"Why is that?"

"You moved away from me. You can't ever go there."

An eye of his slipped close. "Whatever you want."

"I'll get that in writing in the morning," she promised and he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

MC was very bashful the next morning, but to her surprise, as curious in nature as Jihyun was, there were no questions. She woke to a half-dead phone and the smell of breakfast cooking and had sat in comfortable silence as she sipped the orange juice given to her not long after placing herself at the table.

Her phone was open to her puzzle game and the RFA chatroom, switching between the two as she observed Jihyun here and there.

After her third try on a particularly difficult puzzle, she closed it out and read through a chat from last night. Saeran was incredibly talkative to Yoosung, and it made her feel warm inside as she considered all the progress he had made over the years. She was a bit frightened of him for the first year and a half, but it slowly melted into understanding and empathy then friendship. Their relationship was an odd one but so was everyone in the RFA's.

Her gaze picked up at dishes being set down in front of her. There was an array of food and she wasn't sure who was all exactly supposed to eat it.

"Jihyun…" she cracked a smile, "So much food."

"As they say in America, 'Go big or go home.'" MC laughed and waited for Jihyun to finish his prayers before reaching for food.

"What's the plan today?" She inquired, munching on a strip of bacon. His head tilted.

"Whatever you want to do."

She was silent for a minute. "How about that nursery by that creepy tomato farm?"

His eyes flicked up, unsure. "Is that what you want to do?"

"It's what you want to do, so it's what I want to do." She nodded, determined to not take no for an answer. He grinned and her eyes wandered down, bashful all of a sudden.

"Thank you." His hand found hers and tapped it lovingly.

As she was wondering if she should put more potatoes on her plate or just eat from the bowl, Jihyun spoke up.

"MC?"

She decided to be generous and left some for him. "Yeah?"

"Who was it?" She froze and looked up to the innocent face in front of her, sipping coffee like he asked what the weather was. She pouted and emptied the bowl onto her plate. Forget being nice.

"Zen."

MC thought Jihyun was going bust a gut the way he laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> Another challenging write up! Hope I got it right though ;)) Thanks for reading!  
> If you didn't get the "143" reference, it's from a separate V/MC fic. You can read it as a stand alone though (you can also just google it). All of my works are like that.  
> Happy reading!  
> ~WAC


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